Rap session

This entry will have to be somewhat brief, because I’m a woman on a mission. Sometimes life’s lessons can be learned in the most unlikely of places. Take, for example, last night. I was out with some friends at a karaoke bar, and somewhere in the middle of a guy’s spot-on performance of Kid Rock’s "Cowboy", I was struck by an idea. I had just finished telling the story of the job interview I secured for this week Friday, and jokingly said that it seemed like I was always singing karaoke shortly before going on a job interview.

Then, I started thinking back to all my job-search efforts this summer, and cross-referencing that with my karaoke experiences. The results were nothing less than startling. I haven’t figured out how to create graphs in HTML, so I can’t attach my complete findings in this blog, but let me share with you the one major conclusion: the more challenging my song selection was, the more successful I was on the interviews that followed.

Here are some brief highlights from the study: earlier this summer when I chose easy crowd-pleasers like "Copacabana" by Barry Manilow, and "Mickey" by Toni Basil, I secured very few first interviews, and was not asked back to any second interviews. As I studied the months when I selected more difficult songs like "Me & Bobby McGee" by Janis Joplin, or "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen, I realized that I had landed far more first interviews, and had a much higher percentage of second interviews as well.

I’m sure some of you naysayers are going to say, “Nay.” And then you’ll probably say something like, “Don’t you think it’s more likely that as you go on more interviews, you’re getting more confident, and that confidence is spilling over into your song selection? And don’t you also think that as time goes on, and you send out more and more resumes, it’s just logically more likely that you’re going to secure more interviews?”

See, this is why naysayers annoy me so much. You’re always trying to rain on someone’s parade. Here’s an idea – why don’t you come up with your own theory, and then I’ll tear it to pieces. How’s that for a change?

Anyway, I don’t want my theory getting clouded by facts, so I’m sticking to my guns on this one. With that in mind, I am going to undertake what will quite possibly be the greatest karaoke feat ever attempted. A feat so unbelievable that it will all but guarantee me a new job. An amazing new job. I, along with my brave friend Natasha, am going to learn all the words to the Sugar Hill Gang’s "Rapper’s Delight" and perform it later this month.

If this doesn’t land me a job, then I’ll concede and throw my theory out the window. But if I’m right, and I feel certain I am, then I may have just stumbled upon what will perhaps prove to be the 21st century’s greatest discovery to date: we possess the ability to alter the course of our destiny through karaoke song selection.

Now, I’m a big fan of American Idol, so I know that song selection is critical. Heck, that’s been Paula Abdul’s greatest and only advice to contestants for the past three seasons, but I never dreamed it could have such far-reaching and major implications. Having said that, I must go now. I only have a few weeks to change my life forever. Wish me luck.

“I said a hip, hop, a hippie to the hippie, the hip hip a hop, and you don't stop, a rock it to the bang bang boogie, say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie, the beat..."