D.I.E.T.

I’ve been feeling a little sub-par for the past week, so yesterday I called my doctor to see if I could get into her office. Her nurse said she was all booked up that day, but told me until I could get in, I should follow the B.R.A.T. diet. For those of you who are uninformed – like I was – the B.R.A.T. diet is:

B.ananas
R.ice
A.pplesauce
T.oast

I guess these are all the foods that babies are supposed to eat when their stomachs bother them, hence the B.R.A.T. acronym. Apparently, the other diets I tend to follow are not good for upset stomachs. I don’t see what the big problem is – I mean, just because I don’t have some clever little acronym for the way I normally eat doesn’t mean it’s bad.

Heck, I think I’ll come up with a few special diets of my own. See what my doctor thinks of these:

C.hips
R.ice, fried
A.bsolut & tonic
P.epperoni pizza

Or

F.rench fries
L.emon bars
A.pple martinis
B.urgers

Or

U.nusually large doughnuts
L.ots of cheese
C.abernet Sauvignon
E.ggs Benedict
R.are skirt steak

I’m going to suggest these to her today to see if she wants to start using them to categorize her patients. I knew that medical field just needed a good marketing mind to help make it more relevant.