Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Holiday translator

What time is it? = When can we open the wine?

When is company coming over? = When is the absolute last minute before I have to change out of these pajamas?

What a unique gift, Jenny! Where did you get it? = I wonder if they accept returns without receipts?

So boys, was Santa good to you this year? = Please give me affirmation that I’m a good aunt and that your affection can be bought.

I can taste the cod, but is there also a little cinnamon in this? = I must determine this unholy combination of flavors so that it never crosses my tongue again.

Well, I’m wiped out. I’m going to bed. = I’m going to flip through 160 channels of digital cable for the next three hours or until my eyes bleed, whichever comes first.